Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
