you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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