I can tuck mytits in my pants
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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