wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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