I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
