He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
