It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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