Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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