Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
