It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
