My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
