Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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