homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
