At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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