I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
