what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
