It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
