My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize