Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
