Need sex. Gaining weight.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
