We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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