This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
