doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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