Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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