We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
