hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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