Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He did a backflip because drugs
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
