I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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