I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
