So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
