what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and she was petting her beer can
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
