Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
