So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
