someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
