we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
