Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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