bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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