dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
