Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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