Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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