So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
