I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
