Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
