very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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