My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize