guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize