When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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