You can't special order awesome
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
don't judge my taste in strippers
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
