He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
