You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
