My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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