You're my little dorito
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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