I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize