I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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